Grow Your Own Way

"If your friends are not supporting your business, are they really your friends?"

This question was posed in a training today by a fellow female entrepreneur who I admire. I don't think that she asked the question with nearly as much weight as it hit me with. But it hit me hard.

I know that not all friends are for all seasons. It was something I used to struggle with, because I wanted to be everyone's friend, but I have learned to be okay when friendships grow in different directions. Keyword: grow. What is not easy for me to process is the "hands clean" type endings of friendships. Let me explain.

Recently I shared with a close friend how surprised I was that friends from a previous church we attended were completely done with us when we left. These are loving and kind people, who genuinely seemed invested in our family. But once we left that church, we never heard from them again. Not even a like or heart on social media! I don't think they had hard feelings about us leaving nor do I think that were pretending to care about us. So what happened?!

Some people can compartmentalization their lives in such a way that when you are no longer in that box (in this instance, being at the same church), you have no place in their life. They don't find another box for you to fit in. They just focus on what's still in the box. If you're like me, and don't compartmentalize that way, that probably sounds pretty harsh. Trust me, it felt harsh when it happened! But the more people I get to know, the more I realize how different people can be. Different isn't wrong, just different.

So, back to the question:

Are your friends really your friends if they don't support your business?

As an entrepreneur, it's been astonishing to see who comes alongside me and cheers me on in my business and who stays quiet. People who I expected to be my biggest supporters act like I don't own a business. Others who I barely knew before becoming entrepreneur cheer the loudest! And of course, I have my core crew who are there for me in all things, including my business.

There are a lot of ways to support entrepreneurs that don't require any money. So don't let friends fool you into thinking that's the reason they're not supporting you.

Just saying...

Maybe you're not a entrepreneur or business person. Are your friends supporting your dreams? Supporting you in your goals? Obviously, there are different types of support. But if you're out there succeeding in life, in whatever ways success looks like for you, are your friends cheering you on? Or are they staying quiet? Or worse, are they cutting you down?

"Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them... and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:9-10

This is what friendship looks like. This is the kind of friend that I want to be to others! Genuine, loving, building them up and delighting in their wins! But this verse also shines light on my relationships and helps me see where I may be giving more of myself than I should.

I feel like I need to give a disclaimer, because I don't want anyone to read this and start going through their list of friends and cutting everybody out that's not living up to this standard. Remember to give grace!

You never know with someone else is going through, and there may be things going on in their lives that are keeping them from being a good friend. However, I would encourage you to look for patterns in relationships. Maybe there are friends you need to not cling so tightly to. Maybe there are others you should invest more in. Maybe there are some hard conversations you need to have.

Whatever you choose to do, do it in love.